Umi saje tukar tarikh entry ni.... sebab Umi nak Abi baca from the beginning of my blog sbb dalam blog ni ada Umi selit2 pesan Umi utk Abi dan anak-anak...
Hari ni Umi dpt email dari Makngah, Makngah foward kat Umi, jap lagi Umi fwd kat Abi tapi Umi nak Abi amik pengajaran kalau one day nanti Umi dah takde, tolong jangan abaikan anak2 kite walau mcm mane Abi sibuk atau penat sekalipun.....
A Touching Story......
"4 years ago, an accident took my beloved away and very often I wonder,
how does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now?
She must be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is
incapable to taking care of the house and the kid. 'cos that is the
exact feeling that I have, as I feel that I have failed to provide for
the physical and emotional needs of my child, and failed to be the dad
and mum for my child.
There was one particular day, when I had an emergency at work. Hence,
I had to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking
that there was still rice leftovers, I hastily cooked an egg and left
after informing my sleepy child.
With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I
am home. So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all
energy. So with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went
straight into the room, skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into
my bed with intention of just having a well-deserved sleep, all i
heard and felt was broken porcelain and warm liquid! I flipped open my
blanket, and there lies the source of the 'problem'... a broken bowl
with instant noodles and a mess on the bedsheet and blanket!
Boy, was I mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged
straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give
him a good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except
a short explanation:
"Dad, I was hungry and there wasn't anymore leftover rice. But you
were not back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But I
remembered you reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without
any adults around, hence I turned on the shower and used the hot water
from the bathroom to cook the noodles. One is for you and the other is
for me. However, I was afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I
hid it under the blanket to keep it warm till you return. But I forgot
to remind you 'cos I was playing with my toys...I am sorry Dad..."
At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks...but I
didn't want my son to see his dad crying so I dashed into the bathroom
and cried with the shower head on to mask my cries. After that
episode, I went towards my son to give him a tight hug and applied
medication on him, while coaxing him to sleep. Then, it was time to
clear up the mess on the bed. When everything was done and well past
midnight, I passed my son's room, and saw that he was still crying,
not from the pain on his little buttock, but from looking at the
photograph of his beloved mummy.
A year has passed since the episode, I have tried, in this period, to
focus on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to
most of his needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be
graduating from kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave
a lasting impression on his childhood memories and he is still happily
growing up.
However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regret. This
time, his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's
absence from school. I took off early from work and went home,
expecting him to explain.. But he wasn't to be found, so I went around
our house, calling out his name and eventually found him outside a
stationery shop, happily playing computer games. I was fuming, brought
him home and whack the hell out of him. He did not retaliate, except
to say, 'I am sorry, Dad'. But after much probing, I realized that it
was a 'Talent Show' organized by his school and the invite is for
every student's mummy. And that was the reason for his absence as he
has no mummy.....
Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the
kindergarten has recently taught him how to read and write. Since
then, he has kept to himself and stayed in his room to practise his
writing, which I am sure, would make my wife proud, if she was still
around. 'cos he makes me proud too!
Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. It's
winter, and its Christmas time. Everywhere the christmas spirit is in
every passer-by...Christmas carols and frantic shoppers....but alas,
my son got into another trouble. When I was about to knock off from
the day's work, the post office called. Due to the peak season, the
post master was also on an edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son
has attempted to post several letters with no addressee. Although I
did make a promise never to hit my son again, I couldn't help but to
hit him as I feel that this child of mine is really beyond control.
Once again, as before, he apologized, ' I'm sorry, Dad' and no
additional reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner, went to
the post office to collect the letters with no addressee and came
home, and angrily questioned my son on his prank, during this time of
the year.
His answer, amidst his sobbing, was : The letters were for Mummy.
My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued
to ask him: " But why did u post so many letters, at one time?" My
son's reply was: " I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but
each time I reach out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence
I was not able to post the letters. But recently, when I went back to
the postbox, I could reach it and I sent it all at once..."
After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to say....
I told my son, " Son, mummy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future,
if you have anything to tell her, just burn the letter and it will
reach mummy. My son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and
soon after, he was sleeping soundly. On promising that I will burn the
letters on his behalf, I brought the letters outside, but couldnt help
opening the letter before they turn to ash.
And one of the letters broke my heart....
Dear Mummy,
I miss you so much! Today, there was a 'Talent Show' in school, and
the school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around,
so I did not want to participate as well. I did not tell Dad about it
as I was afraid that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over
again. Dad went around looking for me, but in order to hide my
sadness, I sat in front of the computer and started playing games at
one of the shops. Dad was furious, and he couldnt help it but scolded
and hit me, but I did not tell him the real reason. Mummy, everyday I
see Dad missing you and whenever he think of you, he is so sad and
often hide and cry in his room. I think we both miss you very very
much. Too much for our own good I think. But Mummy, I am starting to
forget your face. Can you please appear in my dreams so that I can see
your face and remember you? I heard that if you fall asleep with the
photograph of the person whom you miss, you will see the person in
your dreams. But mummy, why havent you appear?
After reading the letter, I cant stop sobbing. 'cos I can never
replace the irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife....
For the females with children:
Don't do so much overtime. If you cannot finish the work, it must be
some kind of problems within the company, and it is not your sole
problem. Feedback to your boss. Endless overtime may not necessary be
the answer to the problem. Take care of your health so that you can
treasure and take care of your little precious.
For the married men:
Manage your time and health well, cos nothing can replace your good health, not
even business nor clients.
Try thinking this way, are you able to work till your clients are
totally dependent on you? or your boss is totally dependent on you? In
this society, no one is indispensable.
Take care of your health, so that you can take care of your little
precious and your loved ones.
For those singles out there:
Beauty lies in loving yourself first.
With confidence and loving yourself, you will see the beauty in other
things around you. You will be able to work better and happier. Don't
let your health be affected by your work or your boss, so nothing
matters more than your well being."
Abi,
Jaga kebajikan anak2, jangan abaikan diorang, jaga dan sayang diorg mcm Umi sayang anak2, belai mcm Umi belai anak2.... luangkan masa Abi untuk anak2, anak2 je harta yang kite ada sampai bila2......
Love you all.....
Umi 2009
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